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Kimmel, Colbert and other late-night hosts react

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The 2024 presidential election is over and late-night hosts are here to sort out the fallout.

After former President Donald Trump defeated Vice President Kamala Harris to become the 47th president of the United States, comedians tried to comfort viewers on their Wednesday night shows while expressing disappointment in the Republican candidate's victory. They also emphasized their commitment to continuing to bring laughs during what they say is a dark time for America.

Jimmy Kimmel, who has frequently feuded with Trump on social media, opened his show with a sketch of him frantically packing in his office.

“I’m leaving the country,” he announces. “I can’t stay here another four years. Who knows what he will do? …He said he had a list of enemies. Do you think I’m not on this list?”

After his pal Guillermo Rodriguez convinced him to stay in the segment (before explaining that he was leaving to go “back to Mexico”), Kimmel began his monologue with a joke about the fact that Trump won the election after falsely claiming he lost in 2020 to widespread voter fraud.

“I suspect this election was not rigged,” he said. “That’s strange, isn’t it? I mean, he said it was rigged. He said it was rigged while people were standing in line and voting! Isn't it remarkable that the solution wasn't there this time? The last time… I guess the Democrats cheated this time.

The comedian compared Trump to Emperor Palpatine from the “Star Wars” series, who returned from his apparent death in “The Rise of Skywalker,” and quipped, “Donald Trump is like the Emperor from 'Star Wars.'” He's old , he's evil and he keeps coming back without any reasonable explanation.

Kimmel told viewers his “kids were very upset” about Trump's victory, and he was embarrassed when he described Tuesday as a “terrible night.”

“It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants who make up this country, for health care, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for free speech,” said he . “It was a terrible night for poor people, for the middle class, for seniors relying on social security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for truth, democracy and decency.”

“It was a terrible night for everyone who voted against him, and guess what? It was also a bad night for everyone who voted for him. You just don’t notice it yet.”

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But Kimmel took solace in the fact that “we've been through this before” during Trump's first term. “And yes, this time it will probably be worse, maybe much worse. But I also think that maybe we'll look back and realize that in the long run, this is what we needed to wake up. Maybe the people who care so much about him need to find out how little he cares about them.

He also joked about the idea that Trump would jail him and his fellow late-night hosts after he takes office. “My only request to President-elect Trump is that he let me share a prison cell with Taylor Swift.”

Stephen Colbert: “It’s really hard to see a positive side to this”

Over on CBS, Stephen Colbert opened “The Late Show” with a serious message that he sent to the camera from behind his desk. “If you watch this show regularly, you're probably not doing well,” the comedian said, before explaining that he was grateful to host the show because “what do we most want to be in times like this?” Not alone.” “

In his monologue, Colbert said the “deep shock and sense of loss was enormous” after Trump's victory and concluded that the president-elect's supporters “don't care that much about democracy.”

“Who knows what the next four years will look like?” he said. “What we know is that we are ruled by a monstrous child surrounded by cowards and cheats, and my brain is constantly pumping out an unlimited supply of consequences. It’s really hard to see a positive side to this.”

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“This is hard,” he continued. “The last time Trump won, it felt like a grotesque coincidence. This time the U.S. knew exactly what it was getting, and it went hard on his behalf anyway.”

Like Kimmel, the “Late Show” host found a positive side: the fact that “we know what's coming in a second Trump term” because he was already president.

“It's like you're attending your child's spring recital for the first time and no one can prepare you for 25 second-graders playing the recorder,” he joked. “But your next child, you’re ready. You packed earplugs. No amount of 'Frère Jacques' could break you.”

Colbert concluded by jokingly asking, “Can we just tell Jimmy Carter she won?” The 39th president voted for Harris at age 100 after telling his family he wanted to live long enough to do so.

“Then can Jimmy Carter tell me she won?” he added.

Seth Meyers: “The fight for justice doesn’t end with an election”

Seth Meyers opened Late Night with a sarcastic demeanor, as if the fact that he voted for Harris was a surprising revelation.

“I don’t think Donald Trump is a good person,” he said. “I would even say that he is a bad person. In my defense, I’m just basing this on everything I’ve ever been taught about what makes someone good or bad.”

“But this is something I accept: Half the country thinks he's a good person, or they don't care that he's not because they think he's a good president,” he continued. “And that’s why he will be our president again. This is how democracy works in America, a country where it is a privilege to live, even on a morning like today.”

During a “Closer Look” segment, Meyers described Trump's first term as “a nightmare that plunged the nation into uninterrupted catastrophe and caused mass suffering for millions of Americans” and made it clear that they will manage to get through his second term to give me all the medicine they give Trump.

“We are on the verge of crossing the abyss and are truly entering uncharted territory,” he added. “You only have to look back at Trump's first term to get a sense of how dangerous his second term will be, and no one can say they didn't know what they were getting because Trump made it crystal clear. All I know is that the fight for justice doesn’t end with an election.”

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Jimmy Fallon: “America has decided to get back with a crazy ex”

On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon proclaimed that by re-electing Trump, America “has decided to get back with a crazy ex,” quipping, “No matter who you voted for, I think all Americans can agree that it is will be a tough Thanksgiving.

“It was a big night for Donald Trump and a bigger night for Don Julio,” he said, referring to the tequila brand. “51% of the country is really happy, 47% is really hungover and (Rudy Giuliani) is both.”

Kimmel, Colbert and Fallon all pointed to the fact that Google searches for “Did Joe Biden drop out?” skyrocketed on Election Day – and all three had the same point. “Most of these searches came from Joe Biden,” Fallon said.

The “Tonight Show” host took time for some entertainment news, noting that Netflix confirmed on Wednesday that the final season of “Stranger Things” will debut in 2025, a story the comedian was quick to attribute to the election. “After last night,” he said, “how much stranger can things really get?”

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