Trump Cabinet Chooses Better Cast for “Dancing With the Stars”

When Donald Trump filled his first Cabinet in 2016, his process was broad and precise compared to a casting call The apprentice. Previously, the appointment of the new administration had been a careful and secretive exercise, largely ignored by the public. But Trump approached the task like the showman he is. For months he met with a cavalry of obsequious Republican politicians, opportunistic billionaires and all manner of sycophants. He introduced each contestant to the media and even teased them on Twitter: “I'm the only one who knows who the finalists are!”

When it comes to filling his second-term cabinet, Trump is once again drawing on his reality TV roots. But this time he's not just adding some showbiz flair to the process. In 2016, Trump horrified Democrats and many Republicans by publicly toying with new hires like Laura Ingraham, Sarah Palin, Kanye West and Rudy Giuliani — but he didn't actually choose his craziest options. Now the president-elect is far less worried about what Reince Priebus or Mitch McConnell guys think; New Majority Leader John Thune is open to letting him bypass the Senate confirmation process. So Trump relies on his gut feeling. And with picks like Kristi Noem, Pete Hegseth and Elon Musk, Trump's instinct seems to be to assemble a crew better suited to an all-MAGA Dancing with the stars as a serious White House Cabinet.

The Celebrity Apprentice seems to be the more obvious blueprint here. But most of the contestants on this show were reasonably competent and the stakes were pretty low since they were playing for charity. The DWTS The cast tends to be chaotic, random and completely unsuitable for the task at hand. These characteristics, coupled with the high potential for disaster and humiliation, are a much more accurate comparison for the evolving Trump Administration 2.0.

So far, Trump has announced only a handful of nominees for his new Cabinet and other top administration positions. But they are already definitively assigning themselves to archetypes DWTS pour.

All Trump needs is a former athlete, someone from The Bachelorand the third cast member from an old teen TV drama and that would be an absolute must see incredible DWTS Season 34. It's easy to imagine a world in which Kristi Noem's cha-cha to “Who Let the Dogs Out” dominates the national conversation while President Harris quietly goes about the incredibly boring task of actually governing. But of course we don't live in this reality.

None of this is a dig Dancing with the starsthat is entertaining and harmless. We love watching celebrities get a second chance at success or embarrass themselves on the national stage. Unfortunately, the likelihood that Trump Cabinet 2.0 will end in anything other than a catastrophe is slim. And their stumble won't even be that fun to watch. Sure, they will be embarrassing for Trump and his cronies, but Americans will feel the consequences, and the humiliation will be shared by everyone who helped him get back into the producer's chair.

This article has been updated to include Matt Gaetz.